DAY 2 "Security"

And the real challenge begins here. Tackling the security matter is not easy for me as only recently I’ve discovered so many ways I’ve found to try to satisfy this necessity.

*First and foremost has been with food.*
I’ve discovered food, as culture since we are babies, the first thing parents do when a baby cry is stuck the bottle of milk in your mouth, no matter if you’re crying because you feel lonely and want attention or because the initial pleasure after wetting the nappy has turned into a nasty experience. Doesn’t matter you’ll end up with food in your mouth.
And my family is no different, from babies to adults all the problems are resolved with food; “Comfort food” as commonly known. If you want to make someone feel special, there’s no better way than to prepare their favourite dish, or if you feel depressed there’s nothing better than “Quesadillas” in my case or Ice cream.

Therefore I have lived my life in a constant battle with weight and food. Finding depressing I couldn’t achieve the body I wanted always turned to food for comfort. You can either relate to this or finding it completely absurd but is true. So in this new facet of my life I decided to take food as for what it is: the magical source of nutrients that my body, mind and spirit needs for living a healthy life, and not as a substitute for something else I’m missing in my life, call it attention, self esteem, love, adventure, etc.

*Second has been relationships.*
Here lies one of the fundamentals of my life, and you’ll understand why the image of I’ve chosen to represent this point.
I lacked a loving, understanding or even friendly father figure in my childhood. Never thought this could turn to be such a deep problem for me as I always thought I manage well during that time. But now as time goes by and see the patterns in my life I have come to realize I’ve always found a father figure with my partners, giving them the complete responsibility for my well being and happiness. Turning myself into a submissive “house wife”. But never that submissive as I always had the ambition to be independent and have and cover all my need. But never was an easy task, combination of poor self esteem and liking having someone taking care of me, as soon as I started the process of independence I abandon it and came back to the arms of my lover. I appreciate and I’m deeply grateful, I really got all I wanted, sometimes behaving like a extremely demanding teenager or as a sophisticated partner.
So, from now on I’ve decided to take my relationships for what they are, mutual companionship, understanding. I will take care of my life first and not to expecting some else to take care of it for me.

Now is the time to ask myself:
What can I do now to start making progress in this matter and motivate the change into a totally secure life?
1.- Apply the 3 question filter to my meals (talk about them yesterday). Even if you’re thinking “you can't question the food” let me tell you, Yes I can! And it’s easy, just asking for example: This ice cream helps me be better person: Maybe NOT if I’m alone and bored on a Friday evening. Maybe YES if I’m with friends walking in the park on a beautiful sunny day.

2.- AFIRMATION:

LOVING TREATMENT

By Louise L. Hay
Deep at the centre of my being there is an infinite well of love.
I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give, the supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good; it is an expression of my inner joy.
Yes, I love myself, therefore I take loving care of my body.
I lovingly feed it nourishing food and beverages.
I lovingly groom it and dress it and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.
I love myself, therefore I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.
I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.
I love myself, therefore I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses all my talents and abilities, working with and for people that I love and love me, and earning a good income.
I love myself, therefore, I behave in a loving way to all people for I know that that which I give out returns to me multiplied.
I only attract loving people in my world for they are a mirror of what I am.
I love myself, therefore I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences and I am free.
I love myself, therefore I love totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright, and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more.
And so it is.