'I AM WHO YOU ARE LOOKING BACK'

DISCLAIMER: My intention with this new entry is solely to share my experience with no expectations or any desires attached and with my deepest and most humble gratitude to God our father, who very patiently awaits for us to welcome him back into our lives.

"I AM THE ONE WHO TELLS THE TRUTH YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR"

This statement came into my experience on August 11 @ 8:11 pm. I don't believe in coincidences nor in a process produced by a mind for now I realize that all that is happening, had happened and will happen is guided step by step by Divine intervention. And our only work is to (choose) allow this flow of energy to run freely though our bodies, mind and spirit, making of our lives a truly exceptional and beautiful experience... or not.

This is the result of almost 40 years of continue search for truth. A truth that feels right inside, in the heart.

Since very little I was told I had a very sharped tongue that could hurt even the strongest heart and mind. Being told how bad It felt, I grew afraid of saying what thought was simply and plain obvious but for some reason nobody could see what I saw.

Growing alone, more every day, tried to become whatever people wanted me to be. Craved for love and acceptance, however, it never came easily.

Didn't know who or what I was, only knew that people felt like I was only here to hurt and to make life more difficult for everyone around. And so all the pain, physical, mental and sexual abuse felt right, like I deserved it. So I took it like a man, and never, ever complained.

So started a life of making my own path, facing my most terrible fears alone, creating my own joy... like the little boy separated from the rest, playing with a wooden stick looking from far away the rest of the children and my own family with only one thought in mind: I wish you could love me as much as I love you.

And all this love decided to put it in a special place in my heart and walked away.

Feelings of unworthiness clouded my soul and for years my only desire was earn the love I so much desired. Made any change possible and so I became the man of many faces... reflecting what people wanted to see and not reality.

But yet again, I came into despair when realize that that wasn't me and if anything I should always be true to myself.

Taking the conscient decision and accepting that I probably will live alone for the rest of my life went down the road of self inflecting pain, not knowing at that time that even that was part of The Greater plan.

One of the advantages of being a lonely soul is the fact that all the knowledge gather throughout life is mainly my own creation. The rediscovery of life itself with trues and lies.

I have come to realize that the majority of people are just reproducing what they were told to think and do, becoming what is expected of them... and so, never finding truly inner peace, for the stress of getting where they think they should be or achieving what they want... constantly comparing themselves with their neighbors, co-workers, family and friends is a never ending race to nowhere.

Many describe this automatic behavior as the human unconsciousness for me is just the very sad fact that many people are not able to think for themselves and always look up for laws, religion, or any other way to tell them what to think and so how to react to any situation in their lives.

And so, now like the mirror on the wall I choose to reflect in truth, no judgements, no attachments and with only one purpose in life. THE HOPE THAT ONE DAY YOU SEE ALL THAT I AM, WHICH IS ONLY YOURSELF BEING REFLECTED BACK TO YOU.

And so life goes on...

SatNam

xXx